So many cookies... so many flavors... too much going on!!!!
If you're overwhelmed - read on!
We are an online bakery, with a brick & mortar location in SE Portland. We specialize in crazy cookies with a never ending variety of flavors & fun names to go along! We change our flavors a LOT & love experimenting with new products that come out. Our cookies last for a YEAR in the freezer, so folks love to stock up on limited batch flavors, or cut them up into quarters & pull them out for the occasional treat. They can be eaten straight out of the package, or warmed up for a gooey treat! Heat em up in the microwave, oven, or even air fryer! Some will keep them in the fridge as the dough tastes like a frozen cookie sandwich when eaten cold! You really can't go wrong with them!
How does it work?
We have a basic chocolate chip cookie & a gluten free peanut butter cookie that are ALWAYS available. We also have our G.O.A.T (greatest of all time) pack with our 6 most popular flavors ever as a bundle) which has been around since July 2019 and will not be going anywhere!
We have had many different menu formats. As of January 2022, we have a monthly rotating structure - each month brings 12 different cookie flavors! They may be returning from previous menus, brand new, or a G.O.A.T pack flavor! These are available both online & at our retail location for the entire month!
We do our best to have the best variety of flavors - something for everyone! & if you don't see a flavor that you want, you can always custom order them here! We do not currently offer custom Mini Monsters, Mega Monsters, Magic Bars, etc. however we are always open to flavor suggestions! Many of our flavors have come from customers suggestions, and sometimes if a flavor becomes popular enough we will name it after them! Ex: Em's Chocolate Sexual, Shaun's Olympia Mega Monster, Wolf Pro, Allison's Choco PB, etc!
If you're overwhelmed - it is OKAY! Most people are.. heck, we are! As long as you like the flavor profile of an item, and don't mind a sweet cookie dough like treat, you will enjoy it! If you really don't want to choose and are feeling adventurous - we have seasonal pick items available! These are discounted items because we choose what they are based on what we have at the time!
If you have any questions, feel free to shoot us a message here, email us at firstname.lastname@example.org, or call us!
I placed my order on X date, when will I get them?
Turnaround time is dependent on our staff size at the time & how many orders are placed ahead. Most often, your order will ship the same or next business day. You will receive an email once the label has been printed - and it will update with an estimated delivery date once USPS has scanned it in. It could take up to 3-6 business days if we are backed up or delayed for some reason so if you are ordering for an event - order early and freeze them! We use USPS Priority Mail 2-3 day shipping, but they sometimes have delays which are unfortunately out of our control. Most delays resolve themselves in a day or two. If they do not, we ask that you contact USPS rather than us. We are the bakers and packers, not the shipping service or magicians!
I live locally - do I have to pay for shipping?
Absolutely not! If you want something from our website - select the "Pick Up" option at checkout. Wait for the notification that your order is ready for pick up (should be within 24 hours) and come grab it from the mini fridge in our local storefront between 4pm-10pm. If wanting to pick up an order earlier than 4pm - email us to set up a pick up time.
PLEASE NOTE: WE HAVE A 2 COOKIE MINIMUM FOR SHIPPING ORDERS! With the price of our packaging, we cannot ship single cookie orders out. Single cookies can be placed for local pick up because there is no shipping, any online orders place with less than 2 cookies will be cancelled
How should I store these? What is the shelf life? I can't possibly eat these all within the week!
Our cookies have a shelf life of 10-14 days at room temp, a month in the fridge, or 3+ months in the freezer! We always recommend freezing them - it'll keep the taste and texture the freshest. In the bag it comes in or a Ziploc is just fine. To thaw, leave at room temperature for a few hours or pop it in the oven, microwave, or air fryer! Time and temperature depends on your individual unit and the temperature of the cookie, so start low and keep an eye on it until it's how you like it. If you're feeling adventurous, try them cold!
Do you offer gluten free/vegan/healthy cookies?
We have a few gluten free cookies and bars that appear from time to time! The only gluten free base we have as an option for Custom Orders is our Gluten Free PB Base. We do not and will not offer vegan or "healthy" products. If you're gonna eat a cookie, eat a damn cookie! Go hard or go home right?!
How much do the cookies weigh?
Our G.O.A.T cookies weigh between 4-6oz. All of our other cookies typically range between 5-8oz. Every cookie is rolled by hand and has different mix ins so it's difficult to give an exact weight but they'll definitely keep you and your family full and happy. Our Mega Monsters weigh a minimum of 20oz, upwards of 2lbs depending on the flavor!
What if something happens while my cookies are being shipped? How do I get a refund?
Once the order has shipped, we have no control over USPS or what happens to the package. We have no responsibility for, or influence on, products melting or drying out due to heat/shipping delays or for how USPS handles the packages. If your package is damaged, opened, or lost, please contact your local post office and file a claim with the USPS. All of our packages are insured to the full value of the contents, and we've found the USPS to be very simple to work with when filing an insurance claim and getting paid. Please check our Shipping Policy for more details.
****We do not accept returns, refunds, or cancellations. Once the order has been processed in the system it can not be undone. Please be sure of your order before clicking check out! Once you place an order you cannot switch out the products, clicking submit finalizes the order.
What makes your cookie dough edible and safe to eat?
We use heat treated flour and no eggs in our cookie dough so it's perfectly safe to eat without risk!
How should I store my edible cookie dough?
Our cookie dough should be refrigerated upon arrival. If you don't intend on eating within a month, we recommend freezing the dough. It can be stored in the freezer for 3 months, though freezing can cause the container to crack.
Can I bake the edible cookie dough?
Yes, but it won't turn out like a regular cookie - our edible dough lacks the key ingredients (leaveners) that would make it rise.
I want this flavor from your Instagram but I don't see it. What gives?
Our products & flavors are ALWAYS rotating! We have 12 monthly cookie flavors, along with 2 year-round flavors - our Chalky Chip and Gluten Free PB. We can't ever guarantee a product will come back after it rotates out, but you are more than welcome to suggest something that you saw and want to return!
Why doesn't my discount code work?
Shopify does not allow code stacking (using one code on top of another) so unfortunately if there is already a discount applied, adding another one will not work. PLEASE NOTE: WE CANNOT ADD A DISCOUNT CODE AFTER AN ORDER HAS BEEN PLACED! Shopify gives us no option to add the code after. You MUST click apply before submitting the order.
THERE ARE NO ORDER CANCELLATIONS. ONCE YOU HAVE PLACED AN ORDER - IT WILL IMMEDATELY GO INTO PROCESSING. PLEASE TRIPLE CHECK YOUR ORDER BEFORE SUBMITTING. EMAILS ASKING TO CANCEL "ACCIDENTALLY PLACED" ORDERS MAY BE IGNORED AS THE PACKAGE IS LIKELY ALREADY ON ITS WAY. SO WE BEG OF YOU, PLEASE WATCH WHAT YOU'RE DOING!
Yes, we ship all over the country Shipping costs will apply, and will be added at checkout. We run discounts and promotions all year, so stay tuned for exclusive deals.
We ship out all orders on the following business day & ship via USPS 2- day priority mail. Delivery details will be provided in your confirmation email.
Absolutely not! Select the Local Pick Up option at checkout & wait for the notification that is is ready to be picked up!
We have 3 sizes of cookies - regular, mini monsters, and MEGAS!
we no longer offer our edible cookie dough for shipping. we only offer it in scoops at our storefront location.